The lovely  Lizzy @unworthy_mamma has very kindly given me permission to share her deeply personal poem to raise awareness and have her voice heard.  It is based on the subject of sexual abuse, so please only read if you currently feel safe. 

“I didn’t want to but I couldn’t say no

He followed me from room to room as I’d go

Searching for a place to hide from him

But I knew I was defeated and he’d eventually win

I remember he stood in the doorway light

A shadow casting a sense of his might

That stretched out and crawled to the edge of my bed

An unspoken deed that filled me with dread

I couldn’t say no because I had no power

I was afraid his insistence would quickly turn sour

I couldn’t say no

I had no choice you see

He saw a f**kable body

And decided to take me

I remember the sweat and the weight of his bulk

Whilst I lay passive blocking out his guttural grunts

I looked at the crack in the ceiling above

That moved with his thrusting, panting and shoves

He pushed himself inside and I floated away

Removed from the physical place where I lay

Once finished he got up and left with no words

I curled up like a child

Scared and unheard

You see I didn’t really know I had a choice

Too young and insecure to use my voice

I couldn’t say no

No one told me so

Rather everyone said being wanted is the ultimate goal

Afterwards I floated back into this skin

His smell and his sweat lingering still

Now my mind’s with the body I’d left on that bed

Aware of the silent tears I unconsciously shed

I cried empty tears that were hollow and numb

Forever filled with shame, self-loathing and regret

For the damage he’d done”.